i cant describe how i'm feeling this instant. just when i was thinking of her, you called. and you actually told me that you gave her away to the 12-storey auntie, WITHOUT informing me in advance! i thought i told you before.
and when i asked you time and again if you're kidding me, you said no. do you know how i wished that you'd say a yes? sigh, what's done is done and it's all in the past already. tears shed, walked in the rain, gastric now and i'm still not eating.
last night would be the very last time i'm looking at her in the eyes. she's gone from my sight, forever.
2:21 PM
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
apologise for my absence. was feeling so blissful, and suddenly everything went down from that moment.
i feel so damn sinful. when reality hits me hard, i realised that i've not been a good mum to ralph, good gf to my dear, good daughter to my family, good sister to my dear sister and good friend to my friends. have i been neglecting everyone because of cabal? i think i did.
sad to say, i failed in every aspect. and probably in life too. ): maybe, probably i shld just quit cabal, and even try not to play any online games anymore.. i get easily hooked, and tend to neglect everyone and everything around.
the temptation of leveling up in cabal made me neglect ralph ): and dear was right. i did the same thing as what malcolm's mum did to him. i merely chucked her aside when it comes to gaming.. she is NOT a burdern, she's a responsibility. jinling, please wake up. u SHALL NOT do this anymore, else you're not worth anyone's love anymore.
i could have went over straight after playing awhile. i could have just went over even though he sms-ed saying anything. i could have just went over upon feeling that he's unhappy due to this stupid reason of mine, and i chose to ignore it. oh gosh, what have i turned into?! and what changed me?! its the temptation. everything lies in me.
how i wish i have insomnia, so that i have sufficient time for everyone and everything. and jinling,you hafta earn more money from now.. so that you can afford taking extra mrt trips and cab trips to and fro.. else, i gonna neglect ralph all over again T.T jinling, it's not an advice, its not a warning, its AN ORDER!
i shld feel touched that dear didnt leave me and still standing by even though i'm sucha terrible person. i tried to make it up by giving him a surprise yesterday night by going there straight after my late dinner at novena square. i wanted to make it up to ralph for neglecting her on saturday, and make it up to dear for not caring him enuff. but i still failed, why? because he went to have a few games wif his frens after he returned to sg from genting, and i was at home wanting to give him a surprise. end up i gotta let him know ): please take alook and see that i'm sucha failure in anything. all i wanted was to make it up, and i just had to ruin it like this.
and my wrist has been hurting me ever since i dunno when and it just isnt healing. am i gonna lose my hand? no one knows how pain it can get when it acts up. no one...
i'm so sad this year, people's leaving me one by one. not to another country, but to another world. da gu left me last month, and grandma@china is in a serious critical condition now. doctor predicted that she's not gonna live any much longer. and sad to say, i won't be able to make it for the funeral too. i can't even give my last respect if she really had to leave. uncle@HK called and he said grandma@china keep complaining that we've not been back for a v long time. all she's asking is one last chance to see us but yet we can't fulfill it. i can't do anything without dad say anything, sighs. grandma@sg left 3 years ago, and now grandma@china has to leave soon..
i don't have a supportive dad and sister, but i'm lucky to have a mum who is supportive at times. and i think i hafta be greatful. hope that i'm really who i am i wanna be in a few years time.. i dun wanna make yet another wasted plan. it always goes down the drain due to certain reasons and i'm sick of it. regretted countless times because i heeded ur advice. for once, i gonna stand up for myself and do what's in store for my in my future.
gonna end this now at 12.25am. gonna think through what i've done again, and repent. jinling, you hafta repent! it's the only way you'll learn and grow up.
12:05 AM
Friday, June 06, 2008
yay, finally the day comes! :D but we're gonna have a simple celebration only.. and this time, with the 2 rascals (namely malcolm and manfred).. hahhas!
happy 2nd anniversary, my dearest!
gonna prepare and go over to dear's house~ and dress the 2 rascals up! wakaka. till then!
10:48 AM
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
just changed my blog skin.. :D been using that skin since dunno when??? =x HAHAHAH!
anyways, shall update it every now and then! :)
just saw this song on my playlist, right here waiting by white dawg.. oh mans, I MISS IT! heh, and thus i place it in my blog, enjoy!
watched this show Hearty Paws (aka 快樂尋回犬) on channel 62 few days ago with dear, and i teared badly ): but dunno why i still heart this show! the trailer is here and the link for the show is here!
ENJOY! :D
12:26 PM
Monday, June 02, 2008
sometimes i'm wondering, will we last?
i hope to grow old with you! because
..... .... ... .. . .. ... ... .....
so that i can see you with white hair all over your head, and you being boh-gei! wahahhahaa!
ohh. and i really must not spend anymore moo-lah on unnecessary things! arghhh. and i just bought avene thermal spray and avene rebalancing soothing emulsion.. ahhh.. jinling, you must save save save save! YOU SHALL SAVE! or does anyone wanna sponsor me? *blinks* tee hee hee!
8:17 PM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
dear, counting down 5 days, it will be the 2nd birthday of our love! :) i hope you haven't forgotten about it :p
i'd like to dedicate this particular song to you my dearest!
and if you're wondering which song is it, please click "PLAY" below! been trying to upload but failed. just try uploading again tml.. meanwhile can try searching for this song at 好听音乐网 song UPLOADED!
heh. ilu dear.
12:06 AM
Welcome!
Her Adverts
It's Her
`__JinLinG
`__Admin Assistant @ Cordlife
`__040886
`__Leo
`__I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!
Her Ticker
Her Loves
`__Mr Boyfriend
`__Dad
`__Mum
`__Sis
`__Malcolm&Manfred Chng
`__Ralph, my girl
Her Wish List
`__Pink DS Lite
`__Taiwan Trip
`__BB Cream
`__New Digicam
`__A new Laptop (Fujitsu)
`__LV Never Full Bag
`__Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallow
`__Get my driving licence next year (like finaly)
`__HongKong Trip
`__Thailand Trip
`__Genting Trip
`__Hokkaido Trip
